Science can be a painful endeavor… and I’m not just talking about rebel researchers who inject themselves with experimental serums in the hopes of becoming superheroes. No, I’m talking about average folks like you and I who find out the hard way that for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Reactions like bruises and broken bones. And scars. So many scars.
Nat Geo’s squirm/thought-inducing new show Science of Stupid is a reminder that every time you’re having fun on camera, you’re mere seconds away from excruciating pain… and that there’s a scientific reason for that. Host Seth Herzog shows us that every Johnny Knoxville has a little Albert Einstein in him. Just not enough to stop him from doing the incredibly stupid thing he’s about to do.
This week on Science Of Stupid, we’ll learn about the scientific logic behind golf carts, jet engine thrust, pogo sticking, rope swings, and much more. But, for now, we present you with the four people who got it the worst:
4) Four People, One Golf Cart
PAIN SCORE: 6 winces
POINTS OF IMPACT: Head, neck, shoulders, back
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING: The two big dudes on the back drastically shifted the center of gravity on the cart by jumping off, which sent the cart over the driver and his passenger (now ex-girlfriend, probably).
HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN WORSE: They could have been carrying large pots of boiling soup on the cart.
DID YOU KNOW: Harley-Davidson manufactured golf carts from 1963 until 1982, although you won’t find many of them tattooed onto meaty forearms.
3) Cold as Ice, Willing to Sacrifice My Spine
PAIN SCORE: 7.5 winces
POINTS OF IMPACT: Tailbone, spinal column, head
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING: Superguy here thinks he’s going to do something awesome by cannon-balling through the puny layer of ice on his frozen pool. Problem is, that ice is stronger than it looks.
HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN WORSE: He could have shattered the ice, splashed into the water, and been devoured by a hundred piranhas.
DID YOU KNOW: China recently bombed ice in the Yellow River to prevent flooding in Inner Mongolia. The Chinese Air Force could have done this guy the same courtesy.
2) Clean Up in Aisle OMG IS THAT YOUR FACE ON THE FLOOR
PAIN SCORE: 9 winces
POINTS OF IMPACT: Face, wrists, face, forehead, face
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING: “Dude, this is really stupid, but I have just the thing to keep us perfectly safe: Helmets!” “Bro, you’re a genius.” Wear a visor next time.
HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN WORSE: I’m not convinced his face didn’t come off. Plus, I really think that’s the L.A. River and…
DID YOU KNOW: According to a 2013 article in the Los Angeles Times, the L.A. River is mostly “residential and industrial discharge”… so not the stuff you want to go riding your shopping cart into. LIKE TOTALLY GROSS.
1) Pogo Stuck
PAIN SCORE: 10 winces for the dudes
POINTS OF IMPACT: Wrist, ego, uh… inner thigh
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING: Everything was well and good for Pogo Johnny here… until he landed left of center.
HOW IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE: For a man, this can’t get much worse, although a spiked wrought iron fence probably would have done the trick.
DID YOU KNOW: Extreme pogo, which can be seen above at its worst, employs modern sticks that can propel their riders over 10ft in the air. Radical, I guess?
It goes without saying, but don’t try any of this stuff at home. It will hurt so so much. But do try to catch Science of Stupid – Friday’s at 9 and 9:30pm on Nat Geo!